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finding all my previous motives growing increasingly unclear

i miss fireflies. i do. we were playing badminton the other night and i kept looking for them out of the corner of my eye. i also miss thunderstorms. i can count on one hand the number of times i've heard thunder since we moved here last summer. what i don't miss is having the air conditioning on all day and only being able to open the windows at night. we leave our windows open 24/7 here (even when it rains - it almost always falls straight down!) and i can also count on one hand how many mosquitoes i've seen here (i don't think i've gotten bit once). i don't miss having to worry about tornadoes when the sky starts to look freaky. i don't miss humidity. i do miss my family, sunday dinner at my parent's, jumping on the trampoline with my niece and playing games in the living room. yep, definitely miss that.

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you take me the way i am

and the winner is... becky! who has never been to europe but it's very high on her life goal's list. i went for the first time last year and it was worth the wait, such amazing memories. email me your address becky so i can send you your new journal. hey, maybe you can even use it when you to go europe for the first time like i did! ;)

thank you guys so much for participating in this crazy blogging week with me, for sticking around and giving me a chance to get to know you better. i'm hoping to continue blogging regularly (ideally it'll encourage me to create every day and share that with you), so keep those comments coming, it means so much to know someone's out there!

so i had a great birthday full of my favorite things: taking pictures (got a diana and this - woot!), delicious veggie food and spending time with family (in person and via phone). a lovely day indeed.

i wanted to re-post something i wrote for my 30th birthday because it's something that i still feel so strongly about, plus when i read it i just feel... better. maybe it'll strike a chord with you too.

"here is what i have learned in my 30 years (which isn't much but it might be enough):

#1) everything is perfect. including you. you are perfect. right now. exactly how you are, you're perfect. close your eyes. breathe in. that air? perfect. that sound? perfect. your greasy hair and dry feet and tummy roll and hairy legs are perfect. i'm not kidding. it's all perfect.

#2) you know that place you thought you were trying to get to this whole time? the destination that made you feel guilty and stressed and hurried and not good enough? the place that would suddenly appear when you had enough or were enough? you're there! you made it! it was here, this whole time! so you can stop trying so hard, stop rushing and yelling and getting upset and putting others down. stop judging, stop regretting, stop worrying, stop waiting, stop looking back, stop wishing, stop planning, you're here now. and it's perfect. did i mention that already? it's true. you're here and everything is perfect, including you.

and i'm 30 now, i feel old and young and loved and lonely and selfish and sweaty and grateful and tired and creative and content and i'm here. and i'm perfect too."

and now i'm 32 and i feel exhausted and inspired and gangly and graceful and aloof and radiant and embraced and ignored and unsure and anxious and absolutely ready. and still perfectly perfect.

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the world was moving she was right there with it

here we go!

5. during a choir concert in eighth grade (in front of hundreds of people) my baby brother came up and gave me a big hug around my legs. i was so embarrassed i whispered to him "if you go sit back down i'll give you some ice cream!" it didn't work.

4. my date for senior prom wore a purple tux and had blue hair and instead of going to after prom we watched cheech & chong in his basement.

3. i never got into the new kids (how weird is it that they're touring again??) but i loved milli vanilli (even after they were outed as fakes)

2. i had a tongue stud for five years until i swallowed it the week before i got married and decided maybe it was a sign i was too old. a year later i pierced my nose

and the last random thing about me:

1. i learned to walk ten minutes after i crawled for the first time. my parents kept me in a walker because their floor was concrete, so by the time i figured out how to crawl i already had the walking thing down.

whew! thanks so much for sticking around for this crazy week of blogging, and for all the comments, i've seriously loved learning so much about you guys. don't forget if you haven't yet to leave a random fact about yourself so you're entered in the drawing tomorrow. until then... see you on my birthday! :)

© 2010 Cori Kindred
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