ours is just a little sorrowed talk
when i was 16 i was obsessed with a guy. not just obsessed, but obsessed. if the world didn't revolve around him, i most certainly did. he was the most charming, adventurous, gorgeous guy i had ever met. there was some wooing, some kissing (ok, a lot of kissing), some drama, and many tears. and i wrote about him. i wrote notes to friends, i wrote letters to him, i wrote in my journal, i wrote cheesy, angsty poems, and i sent one of these poems in to sassy magazine (oh sassy, another tragic memory from my youth...). because my parents were very religious, and because i'd used the word "damn" in my poem, i only put my first name. and sassy published this poem.
three years later this boy killed himself. and i tried to tell myself that it wasn't that big a deal, that we hadn't even talked in over a year, that he had so many problems and was in a better place now, but it really, really hurt. and by then my issue of sassy with my poem in it was gone.
every now and then i'd check ebay for sassy magazines, but i wasn't even sure which issue my poem had been in. a few years ago my then-husband actually tracked it down and was thisclose to winning it for me for christmas, but it didn't happen. then today i finally got around to reading tavi's blog post about sassy. it hadn't even occurred to me that i might find my poem, i just loved sassy. but there it is.
17 years later.
what a strange, strange world.
*** update: tavi mailed me the sassy magazine with my poem in it. thank you tavi :) ***